Most tarot readers want to help. Often this is the first thing that attracts us to this work.
Much of our client work is focused on helping people with their relationships. Will I get married? Am I going to meet someone new? Will he come back? such situations.
Sometimes you will meet a client who is in a toxic or abusive relationship. They may be looking for advice on how to leave... or how to go about a relationship.
I have experience with clients in situations like this and have mostly been able to help them...or direct them to someone who can.
In my opinion, tarot can be a helpful healing tool, but it is not as effective as working with a licensed therapist who specializes in dysfunctional relationships and domestic violence. That being said, there are times when a customer is not happy with this route or does not know where to find these resources. It is also possible that they are desperate and the only person they can turn to is a tarot reader, astrologer, or other spiritual practitioners.
In any case, your job as a service provider is to provide a good service and it starts with creating a safe space for interaction with the customer. People in toxic relationships are often afraid to discuss their situation, especially when their family and friends are not supportive. Tarot card readings can be a calm and holy place for them. Start by listening and let them speak. Let them tell their story and don't judge.
You should keep an open heart and mind when listening, but also when giving advice. That means no judgment, even if they decide to stay with their partner. (Trust me, it's not easy, but free will means respecting other people's choices, even if you disagree with them.) Don't blame, shame, or blame.
Try to stay on the ground as much as you can, even if you're feeling upset or annoyed by what you're hearing. A neutral mind is required. If you can't be objective, you risk projection and that may not help the customer. If you find yourself reacting to reading, it may be best to stop working with it in the future.
For example, I once had a client who was in a terrible relationship with a man who was beating and cheating on her. She came to read-only when they broke down to see if he would come back. The card always said yes...and he will. And then the pattern will continue. After reading some of this, I gently asked her why she was with this man. "I love him and abuse is all I've known in my whole life. I'm used to it." She almost looked defiant. I had to quit working with him because it bothered me so much that I knew I couldn't offer him any objective reading. (I'm not very good at talking to people either. Say what they want to hear.) That was too much for me.
I recommend that you always refer the client to a professional. Tarot is never a substitute for counseling. Keep a list of doctors and specialists ready and be sure to pass them on.
Pay attention to the advice you give. Remember - you are not the advisor. (Sometimes they just don't want to hear your good advice anyway.)
Be honest about what you see on the map. It's important not to lie when you see something bad, but it's equally important that you look for solutions. Strategy-oriented follow-up questions can be helpful.
Find good questions that empower the customer. "Will that change?" Questions like that are rarely helpful. Instead, "what can I do to protect myself in this situation" or "what can we do to fix our relationship" are better because the client is getting information that can show them that they There is a healthy way you can take to improve your relationship. (Sometimes you may try to steer a client in this direction, but they may still be fixated on changing their partner. You need to explain that they cannot change another person- Only that person has the power to change himself.)
Customer confidentiality is a must. This means that you do not discuss your reading with anyone. If your friends or spouse come over and want to know what was said in the reading, stay mom.
Sometimes you can make both parties sit in front of you. It is unusual, but it does happen. Should you find yourself in this scenario, you should be as grounded as possible. Choose your words carefully, but always focus on being compassionate. It means both sides - even if you refer to one as the "bad guy." (Trust me, it's not easy. My suggestion: Avoid it at all costs if possible. You'll be able to stay purposeful without two anxious people sitting around the table.)
If the client wants to bring in a partner with the expectation that you will "change" them, say no. It just puts you in an awkward position, and it's also likely that you're not being objective anyway. Suggest the other person get their own reader.
Prepare for the rare situation where the client returns the information in the reading to their spouse and uses it as a way of trying to manipulate the partner by saying, "That tarot reader said you are a terrible person." And you better change or I should leave you." This can make the partner angry and suddenly they want to attack you because you "ruined their relationship". If they are angry enough, they may even threaten you or create trouble by coming to your office. I call it "Getting Hilary Swank", like after a scene in The Gift where an abused friend played by Hilary Swank gets a psychic about her twisted relationship and goes back to her partner. and tells her what was said. The boy turns on a turn and then shows up at the psychic's house and tries to physically attack him. When an abusing partner thinks that you are interfering in their relationship in some way, it can happen. And yes, I have experienced it.
When this scenario happens, you need to make sure you have security measures in place. Carefully examine any customers you don't know or refuse to see people in person if necessary. If you work from home do not give out your address or list it publicly. (My clients are thoroughly screened and I only read in person in my office when my husband is around.) If you work in a remote office, you may be working in a spiritual business. May want to install a security camera and buzzer to let people in, which provides walk-in customers, you may want to bring the problem to the owner's attention so they can protect you and the other readers working there. To formulate security policies. If you are someone running a spiritual facility, make sure that safety measures are in place to protect your employees from such situations.
If your client calls you "Hillary Swanks," you may have to forbid her (and anyone connected to her) from reading it in the future. Even if you want to help, you don't want to be in the middle of a dangerous bullshit show. It may sound harsh, but your safety is also important. You are not the fallen type and you should never be put in that role.
Remember you can help, but you can't save someone. Your job is to support, but it's your job to decide whether to stay or go.
Do your thing, be kind, point them to the right professional help... then bless them and let go.
